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Without You: A Memoir of Love, Loss, and the Musical Rent

Without You: A Memoir of Love, Loss, and the Musical Rent

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Author: Anthony Rapp
Publisher: Simon & Schuster
Category: Book

List Price: $25.00
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Avg. Customer Rating: 5.0 out of 5 stars 76 reviews
Sales Rank: 806311

Format: Bargain Price
Media: Hardcover
Number Of Items: 1
Pages: 320
Shipping Weight (lbs): 1.1
Dimensions (in): 9.2 x 6.4 x 1.2

Dewey Decimal Number: 792.028092
ASIN: B0013A26VW

Publication Date: February 7, 2006
Availability: Usually ships in 1-2 business days

Customer Reviews:
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4 out of 5 stars Anthony Rapp's Evolution   January 28, 2007
 12 out of 15 found this review helpful

I loved this book. There. That's out of the way. So any criticism that follows has now been properly qualified.

So I bought this book, like so many others, because of its promise to take us behind the scenes of Rent, riding along with someone who has been with the show nearly from its conception. Anthony Rapp is a person who knew and worked with Jonathan Larson, so I fully expected to be treated to glimpses of their many interactions, etc. Well, I would say that, although there is a lot of material that focuses on the earliest versions of the play, there is very little material that deals with the show's creator or, in fact, any of the creative process at all. I think that little factoid is important for anyone who might be considering buying this book with that particular expectation in mind.

Instead, what this book does focus on are the very personal experiences of one of the lead players, Anthony Rapp. It is not an autobiography but, rather, it is a memoir - and it is written very much like one. If you took your personal journal and turned it into a novel, this would be the result. So, where does that leave the reader? Well, Mr. Rapp does a very nice job of telling his audience what it's like to be a cast member of an unknown musical that turns into a smash hit. He takes us through his audition, through opening night, and through all of his experiences along the road to becoming more and more popular. But the book tells us much more than that...

Interspersed between the pages filled with Rent, the author tells us of another very personal experience that was going on in his life at the time - the long illness and ultimate untimely death of his mother. Through this struggle, Mr. Rapp also spills out about his very open life as a gay man, and of his relationships with his boyfriends, and of his insecurities with his family, and on and on. The way in which he intertwines these feelings with his experiences with Rent keeps us interested and engaged, and allows him to tell us the otherwise uninteresting story of his life. This is not meant to be a negative comment, just that, let's face it, if he were not part of the cast of Rent, nobody would really care about his homosexual experiences or his family's illnesses, or anything else about him. In fact, there is really nothing unique about what he has gone through. But, by brilliantly weaving these stories with his somewhat more interesting stories about Rent, we somehow seem to care about what he has to say. And that's probably a good thing.

So, the good and the bad: The good is that Mr. Rapp invites us into his life and gives people something to relate to. And if you canot relate, then you are somehow educated. For example, his earliest homosexual relationships are not something that I can personally relate to, but I am glad to have been introduced to what he went through and how comfortable he is with himself. On the other hand, his experiences with his dying mother is something that many of us have gone through, but he tells the story and evokes feelings that are spot-on. And, through this, we can relate and feel his emotion and be comforted by the fact that we are not alone. Overall, I would say that the book is very rewarding in these aspects.

Now, for the bad: There are a few things that I will mention here. The first is that the front half of the book is very heavily loaded with Rent, but the back half is much less so. It is a good technique to draw readers into what he wants them to hear, but it also comes off as a little deceptive - especially when the logo of Rent is plastered all over the cover of the book. I was certainly hoping for a little more than his personal diary in this respect, given the way in which the book is advertised. The second problem is the way in which Mr. Rapp, as a central charater, changes throughout the course of the book. In the beginning, because of the overwhelming focus on Rent, Mr. Rapp comes off as being humble, sweet, and likeable. But, as the book goes on, we begin to see him as self-absorbed, self-indulgent, preachy, and overly dramatic. Maybe that's what really happened to him over that period of time. But I suspect that this does not represent a true transformation of character but, rather, a reflection of the subject matter about which he writes - which, as I stated earlier, shifts drastically as the book progresses onward. I personally did not like the way I felt about the author when I put the book down, half as much as I liked the way I felt about him when I picked the book up. This is probably not such a good thing.

The last issue I have with the book is that it focuses entirely too much around a fairly narrow window of the author's life. He references his childhood acting experiences many times, but never takes us through that process or through that time in his life. In fact, the only childhood experiences that he chooses to focus on completely are those which relate to his realizing that he is gay. I guess it is his choice to decide what he will reveal to us, but I would have personally liked to have known more about his progression toward becoming an actor and an artist.

OK, so I've said all that I wanted to say. But, again, let me clarify the point that I really did enjoy this book. In fact, I couldn't put it down. The writing is heartfelt and, I think, rather good, and the story is captivating enough to hold our attention. And, that in and of itself is a testament to this book because, in reality, the author is not introducing us to any really new experiences. He has just found a way to make us care about his life. And I think that is a tremendous feat.



4 out of 5 stars From a RENThead writer....   January 12, 2007
 1 out of 4 found this review helpful

When my friend gave me this book, she threw it at me and said "Whatever, I thought it was going to be about RENT, but it's all about him being gay and his mom dying. boo hoo." So I did know it would be less about the actual show, which I was fine with, since I've pretty much memorized the story of RENT and Jonathan Larson.

The story is very powerful and moving, and really shows how intense and relevant Anthony's involvement with the show was. This book was a wonderful light into his personal life, emotions, and struggle with his mother's illness. I learned a lot about him, and gained a new respect for him in addition to the love I already had.

The writing could've been a little stronger, but alas, he is not a writer. It was well written for the most part, but there was an occasional metaphor that made me go "what!?!?" and I think the book could've been probably about 50 pages shorter. It did feel like it dragged in places, but overall this was a very powerful story, and I admire Anthony for sharing it with the world as he does.



4 out of 5 stars Not enough Rent   January 12, 2007
 1 out of 3 found this review helpful

I expected more about Rent when I bought this book, however it is more about dealing with loss and the experiance Anthony Rapp had during Rent losing his mother. It's still a powerful story - just not the one I expected to read.


5 out of 5 stars Brilliant   January 11, 2007
This book brought me to tears several times. There were countless times where i literally had to push the book away from me mid-sentence. I couldn't continue reading because my eyes were just full of tears. This book is just so special and raw and brutally honest, I read it all in one sitting, something I only do when a book completely captures me. I can't recommend this book highly enough. Do yourselves a favour and read this book.


5 out of 5 stars Full of Heart   January 4, 2007
 1 out of 1 found this review helpful

This is a very honest, touching memoir. For a fan of the show Rent, it was especially moving to learn more about Jonathon Larson and how the show came to be. I so wish I could have been a fly on the wall to experience those first days of the show and knowing Jonathon. What an amazing story!!! I found Anthony's writing about his relationship with his mother raw, honest and touching. There were moments that I felt as if I was in the room. Not being gay, I find it hard to comment on the gay aspects of the book, but I admire his honesty and I imagine his words may be helpful to other young men dealing with their lives as gay men. The book reads as if Anthony opened his heart and poured it onto the page.


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